By Matt Poole, Head of Consumer
We all know the saying “be yourself” – but how true is that in everyday life? In 2025, the line between our public persona and private reality feels thinner than ever. Our latest research explores the gap between people’s “pretend self” and “true self,” and what it means for individuals, brands, and workplaces.
Are we Practising What we Preach?
When asked whether they “always practice what they preach,” 66% of respondents agreed – but that still leaves a large proportion who admit there’s often a difference between what they say and what they do. The mismatch shows up across many aspects of modern living, from exercise (16%), screen time (14%), and energy use (9%) to sustainable purchasing (15%), recycling (9%), local produce (13%), travel choices (10%), and saving money (11%). The headline: people admit that what they say they do in public doesn’t always align with their actual behaviours in private.
It’s a reminder that good intentions don’t always translate into consistent action.
The Social Pressure to Appear to Care
Why does this gap exist? Social pressure plays a major role. Just over half (51%) told us they feel pressure to act like they care about things publicly that they don’t privately prioritise. That pressure sometimes leads to performance, with 41% admitting they’re likely to overshare or exaggerate their healthy habits, charitable giving (30%), or sustainable choices (33%). It’s not necessarily about dishonesty – often, it’s about meeting social expectations.
What Would Happen If the Truth Came out?
The idea of private choices becoming public is uncomfortable for many. Close to a third (32%) said they would feel uneasy if their real habits or behaviours were visible to others. Even when intentions are good, people fear judgment if the gap between words and actions is revealed.
Are Social Platforms Perpetuating our “Pretend Personas” ?
Where is this performance pressure the biggest? At work and on social media (18%) top the list as the most common spaces where people maintain a public “pretend self”. The influence runs deep, as nearly three quarters (73%) agreed that social platforms increase the gap between what people say they care about and how they actually behave. The digital stage amplifies curated versions of who we are, and who we think we should be.
The Hidden Toll of Pretending
Living with two versions of yourself comes at a cost – 33% said pretending to care about issues they don’t truly prioritise creates stress or pressure. Despite that, there’s a strong desire for authenticity. 43% said they’d like their public and private selves to be closer together. For most, the goal isn’t perfection – it’s consistency.
Why it Matters for Brands in 2025
For brands and organisations, the message is clear: people are craving authenticity. Public advocacy of sustainability, ethics, or healthy living might not always match private decisions – but that doesn’t mean people don’t want to do better. It means they need help making those choices easier, more genuine, and less performative.
The opportunity? To close the gap. By making responsible behaviours simpler and more accessible, businesses can reduce the pressure to “pretend” and empower people to live their values authentically.
At Censuswide, we help organisations uncover the insights behind not just what people say, but what they actually do. If you’d like to explore how we can help bring your next project to life, get in touch.
Notes:
Combines ‘Strongly agree’ and ‘Somewhat agree’ options
Each of these stats combines ‘Rarely’ and ‘Not at all’ options
Each of these stats combines ‘Very likely’ and ‘Likely’ options
Combines ‘Very comfortable’ and ‘Comfortable’ options
Combines ‘Yes, a lot’ and ‘Yes, somewhat’ options
Combines ‘Yes, much closer’ and ‘Yes, a little closer’ options
